Fullmetal Champloo
by Fan of Fan Fic
Summary: The tragic tale of two brothers... and one's passion to become the next picasso. ...Oh, and there're some samurai and stuff too. READ NOW!


**A Fullmetal Champloo fic! It was bound to happen.**

**Foreword: This is just a little warning for those of you who are new to my work. I don't write angst, romance, tragedies, or anything involving drama. My fan work is strictly devoted to humor, and if you don't enjoy humor then... you should read my fics and learn to love it. Also, I'm not one to plan out my stories. I let it come to me as I write. On the downside, the story may lack a plot. On the upside, however, this fic could go ANYWHERE! Well... if that intro didn't detur you from reading on... then... uh... read on!**

**---**

"Al!" Shouted Edward. He was in the library at central, and had made an amazing discovery. He... was an artist.

"What is it brother?" Asked Al, from a table. "Did you find out anything else about the philosiphor's stone? An important twist to the plot? Something possibly life altering- uh... what's that?" Al had just turned to find Ed holding a canvas up to his face. He was dancing around frantically, a big stupid smile plastered on his face.

"Its a..." He paused for effect. "Butterfly!"

"Oh..." Said Al. "It looks like a cow to me."

Ed frowned, and turned the canvas around so that he could re-examine it. "Ugg.. you're right. Damn it Al! I'll never be a world famous painter at this rate! I might as well trash it." He sighed heavilly, and clapped his hands on it, ready to tranmute the peice of crap into a sculpture, or vase or some other peice of crap when something went wrong.

"Uh... brother?" Al scratched his armoured head. "Were you planning on opening a portal to another world? Or did you have a brain fart?"

Ed scowled. He'd been more and more prone to having brain farts ever since he'd realized his undying love for Colonel Roy Mustang, somehow managed to have Winry's baby, and find out that he had eleven other female siblings, all of which were NOT related to Al in the least, and who all had a thing for their big brother Ed because they had daddy issues. Ed had even mustered up enough sappiness to give each one of his eleven sisters (who were all just a year younger than him) a nice reassuring makeout session, which was SO out of character for him, that his ficitonal brain had gotten confused, and had started operating on some demented form of auto pilot... or something like that. But thats a different story.

"Of course I planned on it!" Ed said. "I'm not a demented, incestuous, transgendered idiot! Come on Al!"

"But what about Winred Jr?" Asked Al, holding up ...um...Ed's kid, "Winry's at work-"

"Yeah, I noticed," Ed said, getting edgy, "How about Roy, can't he take Winred?"

"Roy doesn't acknowledge Winred's existance, Brother. Because he says it's the product of a drunken fling and a jealous whore."

Winred wept.

"God Al! You can find a problem with everything cant you! Just leave the baby on that table over there so we can leave already!"

"Right, brother." Said Al, plopping the weeping bundle on the table top. "Lets go."

So they hopped into the portal.

Meanwhile:

In Edo Japan.

"Hockey!" Said Jin, bringing his sword down on Mugen.

"Football!" Mugen said, grabbing the sword out of his head and cutting off Jin's arm.

"Hockey!" Jin kept calm and focused while his arm socket bled profusely, He kicked Mugen's knee out.

"Football!" Mugen bellowed, smashing Jin's glasses. Jin stopped running towards Mugen with a fist and stared at a loss.

"Uh..." Mugen too was staring at the smashed glasses, "I can fix those..."

Jin sighed. "Don't bother."

"No, man. I'm sorry." Said Mugen, sincerely. "I'll fix em up, Good as new."

"Really... it doesn't matter." Jin moped. "You'd probably just mess it up anyhow."

"Look dude! I said I'm sorry! What more do you want!"

"Leave me." Jin said, dramatically. "I... I need sometime alone... with them." He picked up the glasses, and wandered out of the story...or tried to. It was at this point that Mugen had to bring up a rather important realization.

"Basketball!" He exclaimed.

"Mugen, this is dumb," Complained Fuu from the road, she was really bored because she hadn't been kidnapped once the entire day, "Those words don't even mean anything,"

"No...he's right," Said Jin, tossing his glasses aside, "Its game time," Suddenly he had removed his honorable samurai outfit to reveal a big jersey and really baggy shorts. He took a moment to bid his sandals farewell and then stepped into a pair of brand spank'n new nikes.

Mugen took off his coat.

"Are you prepared...?" Asked Jin. "To meet your fate?"

Mugen groaned. "What the hell kind of way is that to introduce a basket ball game?"

"I'm sorry." Apologized Jin.

"Forget it." Mugen sighed

"No, really, I'm sorry-"

"Forget it man, we don't have a ball,"

"What?"

"Fuu ate it,"

"It looked like a giant orange! What was I supposed to do?" Fuu mumbled.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The three of them looked up just in time to see two bodies land on top of them.

**If you loved it, REVIEW! If you liked it REVIEW! If you hated it, PISS OFF! I don't wanna hear it! ... Just kidding:) You can review too! **


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